Fashion

Monday, February 20th, 2012

Nautical fancy dress for less!

Our smashing chums at Camden’s Escapade are offering 10% off their range of seafaring attire for all you KOKO revellers for this month’s Sailors vs. Pirates party.

To get suitably dressed for the occasion, head on over to their site, select your items of choice then when you checkout use the code YOHOHO and shiver me timbers, 10% off is yours!

They’ve got a vast range of items suitable for the soiree – from full costumes to cutlasses, bad teeth to boots, so let’s get you started with some ideas as to what to wear:


Beneath this padding I’m a seven stone wimp, but they won’t know this until bedtime

Sailor’s are military men therefore have to be fit and strong BURSTING with testosterone and muscles. If you lean to more of a slender build and never win at arm wrestles, then we have the solution: a shirt with pretend pumped up arms!

See them swoon as you strut about with your great big foamy arms bulging in all the right places. Who cares that it doesn’t match your skin colour! They’ll be so bowled over by your manliness, they’ll be blind with lust.


Yeah I’m Captain Beauty, what were you expecting?

Lady Pirates aren’t that common. They don’t look like Keira Knightly either. As if Pirates have all their own teeth for a start. Yes just as the “real woman” doesn’t have Keira’s figure, “real lady pirates” are a burly lot who never say no to a kebab and can drain a crate of blue WKD in seconds. Suffice to say this get up is size appropriate for such tasks.

Celebrate your curves! as the patronising women’s mags say before telling you to lose weight on the next page. If anyone asks who ate all the cutlasses, just give them a real reason to wear that eye patch.


Santa in his summer wardrobe. Or Neptune. Whichevs.

If you don’t fancy sporting a peg leg or a bell bottom for the night, then why not come as Neptune, the mystical sea god? It’s the other obvious choice of dress up isn’t it?

Command order and respect as you part the seas of the KOKO crowd with your authoritative ways and great big stick. We can’t guarantee they’ll listen but a guy in a big blue skirt will most likely grab their attention.


This hat is actually MASSIVE. I am only three inches high.

Do you have a tiny head? Love a hat but forever drowned in its stiff fabric structure? Your prayers have been answered – it’s a tiny sailor’s hat!

Finally the solution for those with shrunken bonce syndrome, the answer to your fancy dress woe. Or indeed general hat woe if you’re happy to wear a sailor hat come what may. We just want to make your life better. Nothing more.


Deluxe pirate: “I’ll take your gold, but only the decent stuff. You can keep that ring, it’s clearly Elizabeth Duke.”

If you take care in your appearance and fond of grooming then this is your accessory of choice for the night – a luscious pirate beard and wig.

Not in the obvious black shade, this dove grey, plaited set will make you stand out from all the other riff raff pirates as one who appreciates the more refined pillaging and looting in life. It’s luxe pirating if you will, exclusively for the more sophisticated amongst us.

VISIT ESCAPADE FOR SHIP LOADS OF FANCY DRESS

Friday, February 10th, 2012

Tell us your Guilty Pleasure and WIN!


Would you walk over hot coals for the taste of the perfect burger? Would you? You must really like them then.

What’s your Guilty Pleasure? Come on, be honest we’ve all got one. Some of us have several. But we aren’t here to judge. No, we’re hear to celebrate and we want to hear about your Guilty Pleasures and the lengths in which you go to to enjoy them.

We’re after the best tales and stories of indulging in your desires and our favourite ones will bag you VIP tickets for you and three mates to a Guilty Pleasures night of your choice* AND we’ll publish your prize-winning story on our blog and tell the world about it. Email your story to info@guiltypleasures.co.uk with MY GUILTY PLEASURE in the subject and over the next few months we’ll be picking out and publishing winners galore!

They don’t have to be musical, it can be a love affair with shoes or cheese or a fixation with fashion, but nothing too mucky of course. We are respectable members of society after all…

Do your friends know about the extremes you go to in your pursuit of pleasure? Does your partner know you still can’t stop buying dreadful Take That merchandise off ebay and you have been bribing the postman to deliver elsewhere for months? Did you walk three miles in driving wind and rain for your last ever Woolies pick and mix? No that would be ridiculous wouldn’t it! Who would do that? Can’t think anyone could be so stupid about confectionary.

If this sounds familiar and you fancy bagging yourself a free night out on us, then confess! Tell all about your Guilty Pleasure! You’ll feel better when you do, promise!

TELL YOUR TALES NOW

* Subject to availability. We have to say that.

Friday, January 20th, 2012

Hats in pop

In Beyonce’s Love on Top video, she sports a rather large and naval themed hat. Look here it is:

However, we don’t think it’s official uniform for any of the defence forces. Firstly because you could probably get thrown in jail for wearing the uniform without having been in the forces and secondly, them medals look like they’re made of tin. Sorry. And it possibly is just a “practice hat” for when she dons a top hat for later and it gets all glam.

Not enough pop stars wear a hat, but thankfully those that do wear them with panache. Let’s look at hats in pop through the ages.

One million years ago, the Captain of Captain and Tennille was a pioneer of the er, Captain’s hat:


L-R: Captain and Tennille (just to be clear)

But then he had to as he was a Captain and thems the rules if you’re going to commandeer a ship.

In the 80s, Boy George took charge of the headgear when he emerged fully hatted up with Culture Club:

He’s since never looked back and regularly wears the same style of hat – often crafted by milliners to the stars Stephen Jones and Phillip Treacy - but in different colours. Look here they are in green and red and with a FACE on it:


This is our favourite. Because it’s got a face on it.

Grace Jones likes a hat on her bonce too. Hers are usually quite spectacular but that’s hardly surprising: she’s Grace Jones, it is to be expected. Here are a few of her greatest hat hits:


She wore this on her last tour with a spotlight on it so it became a disco ball-come-bowler. City gents, take note.


Like she’s used loads of gel on her mohican. But dead neatly


Danger spike


A Zebra / superhero hybrid. A Good Thing.

Chris Lowe from the Pet Shop Boys has always worn a hat. Usually just a baseball cap or a beanie, but hat none the less:

But that’s just standard day wear. For more special occasions, they like to stand out a little:

Yeah, that ought to do it lads.

Slash from Guns N Roses has worn a top hat on and off throughout his career but then Axl went nut nut and sacked the band. Keeping the tradition of a hat wearing member of the band going, the current the lead guitarist in GNR is Bucket Head. Why’s he called that? Because he wears a bucket on his head:


Bucket Head. He’s great with kids.

Bringing us up to the current day, Cheryl Cole launched her solo career with the assistance of a hat, but like Beyonce chose a military one and again from an imaginary armed force. Maybe it’s a secret pop army that we don’t know about but these are coded symbolic hats that they wear to pass messages on to each other. In Cheryl’s case, we don’t think the trousers in the outfit were part of the code. If they were it probably meant “ABORT! ABORT! MISSION ABORT! SERIOUSLY! ABORT RIGHT NOW! DANGER TROUSERS IN OPERATION!”:


Cheryl with hat and terror trews

There is only one queen of the hat these days and that of course is Gaga. Yes we know everyone says she just copied Grace / Madonna / someone’s Nan, but come on, even if she does, she does it very well. Most of us couldn’t come up with such supreme feats of music / fashion / hat had we been off our pipes on space drugs for nine days. Maybe she was, but the fact she did it anyway means she wins. All hail the hat!


That rings a bell. HAHAHAHAHA etc


Not strictly a hat, but it’s a diamante Lobster on her head therefore is included.


Hungry hat


Well, at least I made the effort…

Thursday, January 19th, 2012

Get match fit for the party

We’re pumping ourselves up for our Let’s Get Physical parties in London on January 28th and Manchester on February 11th. We’re necking the protein shakes and carbo loading a-plenty. All we need to do now is go to the gym.

To inspire us into such a heady task, we’re looking to the world of pop culture to motivate us into becoming the perfect physical specimens we are currently hiding away inside our flabby bodies. Plus we can pick up some handy fashion pointers too as frankly, shorts with a perished underpant lining and a faded Reading Festival T shirt from 1996 isn’t going to turn many heads now is it?

First off, Man 2 Man are going to sell us the virtues of this gym life. “Do you wanna be Jane Fonda or at least be like her?” they ask. YES! “Do you wanna be Arnold Schwarzenegger or at least be like him?” Er no! But thanks for asking!

If that was an all too frighteningly butch affair, then let the fragrant Olivia Newton-John guide you through her workout regime, which seems to involve pounding on some comedy fat lads a bit whilst wearing a natty headband. They all turn into oiled Adonises in tiny brightly coloured pants. Wow that’s some feat ONJ. They also only have eyes for each other. Oh bad luck old girl, still you can pull off the sportswear look with panache so that’s something. Even if the boys don’t notice, we do:

If contact sports, grunting and looking a bit mangled are more up your street then may we suggest Rocky? It can help you on the way to achieving all these things plus bonus dead animal punching!

The more graceful amongst us may not find other people’s sweat flicked on them as an appealing environment for exertion, so ice skating may be an option. You get a nice flouncy outfit, no one bats an eyelid at the amount of slap and fake tan you wear, it looks rather fancy etc. The only set back is that a de-ponytailed, ex-England goalie *may* drop you chin first on the ice. But as long as you avoid that you should be fine. The aim is Bolero, all dramatic reaching, sincere facial expressions and perfectly timed spins. Swoonsome. The reality is probably a trip down the hozzer and a limb in plaster courtesy of your butter-fingered partner. Ah well, one can dream:

Golf isn’t a sport. It’s standing around, talking and walking on a nice lawn with fancy poles and balls. But walking in plus fours! And brightly coloured knits as favoured by Irish light entertainers! Then shoes with studs and tassles! Ok, we can see the merits a little more, especially when Chevy Chase is holding the irons:

Children are never too young to get into sport. Especially ones where they can beat each other up. Everyone loves a violent child. Karate is a philosophy though; it’s controlled, it’s measured, it’s disciplined. Yeah, it’s still kicking another human harder than they kick you though isn’t it? With or without a wise Chinese elder:

BUY TICKETS TO THE PARTIES HERE

Monday, November 14th, 2011

Animal Magic – Dressing up discount for KOKO!

Good old Escapade in Camden Town are offering a 10% discount for those revellers at our Animal Zoo party on costumes for the party. How marv.

To claim your dizzy, enter the code BEAST at the checkout and savings shall be thine.
We’ve had a whirl round the site and picked some choice numbers. So for those in need of ideas, why not play along and match your personality to the animal and find your fancy dress attire most suited to you! We really do think of everything…

Superfly
Are you generally irritating, have massive eyes and vomit on your food before you digest it? Then dress as your real parents and come as a fly:

Fancy pants
Do your mates always call you a show off? Are you forever the centre of attention? It’s probably because you’re the best looking and they are trolls. Emphasise this to the max by coming as a Peacock. It has a flippy-up tail! Who doesn’t want a flippy-up tail? Probably them hatas who are well jeal of your perfect ass. So flash it, with your FLIPPY-UP TAIL and make their self-loathing even worse!

Scumbag
You have incredible endurance. You can handle tough situations like none other. You are tough and resilient. You also are a massive pest, terrify children and adults alike, have no discrepancies eating everything from dog food to foie gras and generally are berated by the entire world. No, not George Osborne, but a cockroach! Oh, it’s the same thing! Who knew?!

Flipping marvellous
You know when you go swimming, instead of climbing out of the pool via the steps, do you propel yourself out of the water with sheer athletic prowess landing deftly on your feet? Do you swallow fish whole? When the sun shines, are you black and white and red all over? You’re totes a penguin.

Super sty-le
You’re beautiful. You’re glamorous. You’re high maintenance, but worth it. You are friend of the stars. You’re A list. You’re a pig.

VISIT THE ESCAPADE SHOP