Posts Tagged ‘ let’s get physical ’

Thursday, January 19th, 2012

Get match fit for the party

We’re pumping ourselves up for our Let’s Get Physical parties in London on January 28th and Manchester on February 11th. We’re necking the protein shakes and carbo loading a-plenty. All we need to do now is go to the gym.

To inspire us into such a heady task, we’re looking to the world of pop culture to motivate us into becoming the perfect physical specimens we are currently hiding away inside our flabby bodies. Plus we can pick up some handy fashion pointers too as frankly, shorts with a perished underpant lining and a faded Reading Festival T shirt from 1996 isn’t going to turn many heads now is it?

First off, Man 2 Man are going to sell us the virtues of this gym life. “Do you wanna be Jane Fonda or at least be like her?” they ask. YES! “Do you wanna be Arnold Schwarzenegger or at least be like him?” Er no! But thanks for asking!

If that was an all too frighteningly butch affair, then let the fragrant Olivia Newton-John guide you through her workout regime, which seems to involve pounding on some comedy fat lads a bit whilst wearing a natty headband. They all turn into oiled Adonises in tiny brightly coloured pants. Wow that’s some feat ONJ. They also only have eyes for each other. Oh bad luck old girl, still you can pull off the sportswear look with panache so that’s something. Even if the boys don’t notice, we do:

If contact sports, grunting and looking a bit mangled are more up your street then may we suggest Rocky? It can help you on the way to achieving all these things plus bonus dead animal punching!

The more graceful amongst us may not find other people’s sweat flicked on them as an appealing environment for exertion, so ice skating may be an option. You get a nice flouncy outfit, no one bats an eyelid at the amount of slap and fake tan you wear, it looks rather fancy etc. The only set back is that a de-ponytailed, ex-England goalie *may* drop you chin first on the ice. But as long as you avoid that you should be fine. The aim is Bolero, all dramatic reaching, sincere facial expressions and perfectly timed spins. Swoonsome. The reality is probably a trip down the hozzer and a limb in plaster courtesy of your butter-fingered partner. Ah well, one can dream:

Golf isn’t a sport. It’s standing around, talking and walking on a nice lawn with fancy poles and balls. But walking in plus fours! And brightly coloured knits as favoured by Irish light entertainers! Then shoes with studs and tassles! Ok, we can see the merits a little more, especially when Chevy Chase is holding the irons:

Children are never too young to get into sport. Especially ones where they can beat each other up. Everyone loves a violent child. Karate is a philosophy though; it’s controlled, it’s measured, it’s disciplined. Yeah, it’s still kicking another human harder than they kick you though isn’t it? With or without a wise Chinese elder:


Monday, January 9th, 2012

Gymbox join the party

Prepare for lycra – GP is back!

This month’s KOKO – and indeed our first party of the year – sees us upping the tempo and attending to the post-Christmas weight glut with our Let’s Get Physical Workout Party!

Let’s be honest, we’ve all eaten far too much and as long as discount chocolate Santa’s are still on the shelves no one is really beginning to stop. But stop we must, mainly because we’ve just been down Sainsbury’s and there’s not a Santa in sight, but also because we can’t wear any of our clothes apart from jogging bottoms and large shapeless t shirts and it’s not going down well in the office.

“But exercise is so BORING and crisps and sofas are so nice!” we hear you cry. Well think on, for we are about to reverse the exercise = dull notion on it’s head, as not only will we have a highly motivated Guilty Pleasures gang of djs, dancers, singers and general attention seekers getting you in the exercise groove, but the super buff instructors and actual professionals from Gymbox will be whipping you into a state of euphoria with their mass aerobic class for us all!

It’s a gym from the future with not a legs, bums and tums class in sight

At their multi-coloured, Ben Kelly designed, mega gyms in central London, they provide hedonistic and uplifting classes such as Dance like a Diva, Fonda Fitness and The Rave (including glow sticks and flashing lights!) that make all other gyms look drab and dull and frankly no competition for the sofa.

They’ll be leading us all in a specially choreographed mini aerobics class, that’ll have us all on our feet and bouncing with enthusiasm and turning KOKO into a giant disco gym of spectacularly good fun!

To find out more about just what in the hell they do, head over to the Gymbox website, or check out their Facebook pages, or if you really can’t move off the sofa, tune into Fat Fighters on Channel 4 Tuesday nights and see what on earth it is they get up to!


Tuesday, January 18th, 2011

What to wear to Manchester’s party this Saturday

It’s a nightmare deciding what to wear to a party isn’t it? Well fret thee not as your GP wardrobe fairy is here to aid your clothing woe with fashionable stylings for the Let’s Get Physical Disco Workout Party at Deaf Institute this Saturday April 2nd.

We have taken our cue from popular culture as to what to adorn our bodies with and generally learn how to dazzle in a gym class. It seems being a bit loose helps…

Core blimey!

I’m Jamie Lee Curtis – behold my pelvis of power!

If the thought of moving your limbs faster than snails pace sends you weeping into a tub of ice cream, then Jamie Lee Curtis may change your mind with her turn in the film Perfect as a somewhat slutty aerobics instructor with a heavy fixation on crotch-based routines. Here she is performing a bizarre mating ritual in her class with co-star John Travolta, as they air-hump across the room at each other in pretend sweat-drenched stretch cotton in a desperate bid to prove how good they are at doing it. We’re not convinced. Even less so in those shorts JT…

Exercise – beware its randiness

Olivia Newton John – Good girl gone bad

What with all those endorphins whirling about the body as one is strapped to a stationary bike in front of MTV, it’s no wonder that the power of the gym and its quest for the body beautiful corrupted sweet girl next door Olivia Newton-John to a suggestive trollop all within the flex of a tricep. The euphoric states reached in these soulless, air-conditioned basements are clearly the perfect breeding ground to turn us into genitally charged nymphs fixated on action of the downstairs kind. BAN THIS SICK FILTH

Aerobics – not just for the ladies

Bet you can’t do this can you? It hurts a bit, to be honest

Think aerobics are too girly for men? All that skipping about to dance remixes of chart hits is no way aggressive enough for the male species. Making inappropriate grunting noises whilst picking up heavy things and contorting ones face into an unappealing grimace is the only way that tough guys get ripped. Well, you’ll think again once you see these towers of masculinity in diamante studded vest tops from the 1987 National Aerobics Championships. Try kicking your leg THIS high without straining a hamstring. Now, that’s a REAL man: